February already?! Seriously? As moms we are just catching our breath.
The pressure of “resolutions” and new goals and all the new expectations are, well, exhausting. We are just getting through the holidays, getting back into routine and getting through the day without an entire meltdown.
As moms, we seem to always need to do better, be better, be more. Every year it’s almost like a chore. LIke “one more thing added to my To Do list so I can be the perfect mom.”
That’s BULL! And not what this is about – this is empowering you, not burdening you. That’s why there is no better time than February to evaluate, readjust for several reasons to take care of ourselves and take stock of where we are and where we want to be.
Girl, let’s get REAL here.
That’s why these 5 empowering tips are simple – easy to incorporate and will make a big difference for you:
!. Give Yourself a Break With Grace
Take a breath. Literally. Let things go. What you were “supposed” to do. What you didn’t get done. How you could have been a “better’ mother. Remove that from your life – mentally, intellectually – and yes, those negative self-talk tapes on repeat in your brain. You are doing the best that you can. Trying to be some unrealistic and mythical idea of a perfect mom, it’s not only unattainable, it also does not exist. YOU ARE DOING YOUR BEST for today. Tomorrow is another day. I may have “messed up today” – but THAT IS OKAY. Be KIND to yourself, change the narrative in your self-talk and give yourself grace. One day at a time, babe.
2. Inventory Your Time
What do you actually spend your time doing? Is it just being busy or is it a priority? Our time is so priceless and SO limited. Identify where you spend your time-sit can easily suck in your days, in your weeks, in your life. How much do you scroll? I know, I know, but pretty soon you have gone down a rabbit hole of the latest trend on Tik-Tok. Or getting caught up in reels in Instagram and soon you are consumed by that dog who does tricks and how a rocket works, or how to perfectly knit when you don’t even know what ‘kint one, purl two even means and you have zero yarn! Oh, and let’s not forget Karen. “Karens” can keep us occupied in brain-numbing nothingness – and even all that reality-not-even-close-to=reality shows. Yep. I get it. But think about what and where you are really spending your time. Certainly you will see those places you can use way more empowering and effective.
3. Be In the Moment
The kids are crying, whining and fighting, the dogs peed on the carpet, the boss is calling, and now the other threw up on the floor – oh and the dishes are still sitting in the sink, the laundry taunts you and finds you in your dreams and it goes on. Much less the zoom meetings and deadlines looming. Yep, totally get it. But all those need to’s and have to’s and should do’s – are they really? Probably not. The time and focus spent with your kids won’t wait. Will you have a clean kitchen and perfect home? Maybe not. That can wait. Your kid’s can’t. Time is flying by.
Does your toddler want to sing the same song and watch the same show ad nauseum? Do it. Focus on the here and now. Let everything else go. For maybe only 10 minutes or 30 minutes. Going for a bike ride with your 10-year-old or making that game or dance recital, BE PRESENT! And those elusive and rare moments when your teenager is actually talking to you? THAT is gold. Stop and listen – for typically it is rarely happens and it is almost on that list of extinction. FORGET everything else. Kids know, they pay attention.
4. Appreciate The Mundane
Having a good set of habits may not be fun. But routine really does set expectaions and security – for both you and your kids. They need that sameness – it’s crucial for them. Knowing what to expect is important – it sets both yours’ and your kid’s expectations. It’s safety for them. Chaos doesn’t, it robs that security they need. This also will really make all of our duties and responsibilities seem much more manageable. There is nothing else that will improve our time managing skills more than having great daily habits.
5. Say NO
Boundaries. So profound. And oh so empowering. Self-Care – crucial. Don’t be victim for signing up for every non-mandatory workshop at your job, or volunteering for every single committee and PTA meeting and every Girl’s Night because you want to escape. I bet the school will survive. The PTA and organizing the complete Valentine’s Day dance and decorations and goody-bags and personalized Valentine’s for all classmates, guess what? The world will keep spinning and it will stay on its axis. Instead of you spinning out of control, overwhelmed and faltering on your personal axis. SAY NO. Take your control back. Boundaries Babe.
For now, I promise even doing one of these will empower you and make a difference in your life and therefore, your happiness.
As for me? Well, I am forever Seeking The Other Sock.
And you know what, I may not find it, is it really earthshattering? Uhhh, that’s a big fat NO.
Is it always a constant? Yes.
Go Mismatched and let it be okay. There is NO perfection.
YOU are way more important.
Go Empower Yourself Today.
And let me know how this helps or other tips or what works and what doesn’t.
As always, your voice matters and I want to hear it.
You. Are. Enough. YOU ARE EMPOWERED.
xoxo,
Maria
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