Thank you Babble, for sharing this. I simply had to do the same and pass along to all you out there. Especially Newbie Moms. And that means all you Empowered Moms out there (Newbie or not)!
To all you Newbie-Moms. Be afraid. Of all the Moms out there who have it ‘all figured out’. Because, guess what? They don’t. And if they say they do, they’re lying.
Here’s some of the Moms you, no doubt, will come in contact with. A a few tips to identify the species…. good luck on your wild-life hunting.
Spawned on anonymous internet message boards, the Sanctimommy thinks she’s got it all figured out — and she’s pretty sure you don’t. Whatever her parenting beliefs and behaviors may be, they’re better than yours, and she’s sure to let you know it. Steer clear if you’re feeling thin-skinned.
2. TIGER MOM
To the Tiger Mom, childhood is about work now, play later. She takes her kids’ futures seriously and won’t let anything get in the way. Her kids are definitely going to be more successful than yours. If the Tiger Mom’s kids are busy working, she could be a good option for socializing … as long as you don’t mind the sound of the whip cracking in the background.
3: POWER MOM
Power Mom’s into success, too — her own. If you see her around, she’s likely to be dashing in and out on her way to something much more important than the likes of you. Is she proud about her Very Important Position or does she wish she could just chill out with the coffee moms after drop off? Probably both. Don’t be offended if she breaks plans; it’s not personal.
4: SLACKER MOM
When it comes to success, Slacker Mom couldn’t care less. She’s all about the path of least resistance. Rules, shmules. If the kid wants cake, let her eat cake. Bedtime? Whenever. Kids are smart. It all comes out in the wash. Pass the wine. She’s a great one to have around on those days when you’re
beating yourself up.
5. EARTH MOMMA
Maybe giving birth put her in touch with her inner natural woman, or maybe she’s been wearing patchouli since college. Either way, the Earth Mama can be found in close physical contact with her children. She’s your best friend when you need advice about breastfeeding or baby-wearing, but maybe not if you find yourself on the wrong side of the vaccine debate.
6. PERFECT MOM
Grumbling about sleep deprivation? The Perfect Mom’s baby’s already slept through the night! Worried about preschools? The Perfect Mom applied before her baby was born! This mom makes it all look so easy. Never frazzled, never ruffled, she seems to take all of motherhood’s challenges in stride. Just don’t let her make you feel like a mess in comparison.
7: GLAMOUR MOM
You know that mom who looks like she’s late for lunch with Victoria Beckham? That’s the Glamour Mom. She’ll be damned if she’s going to let motherhood ruin her manicure. And if it does, she’ll just get another one. The Glamour Mom is out to prove that she’s as hot now as she was before she had kids, and she’ll do whatever it takes to make sure everyone knows it. Especially at 7:30 when the rest of the moms are in yoga pants. Prepare to be upstaged.
8: SHLUMPY MOM
Motherhood ain’t easy, and this mom wears that on her spit-up-covered sleeve. But there might be a little bit of pride in her disheveled demeanor. Who has time to devote to superficial personal grooming concerns when you’re so busy attending to your little one’s every need? The Shlumpy Mom may look like she’s barely holding it together, but she may just think she’s putting her energy where it really counts. And she probably is … but that’s not a knock on your new ‘do.
9. BIG KID MOM
When families get together, all the moms are catching up in the corner … except this mom. She’s organizing a game of red rover or rolling around on the ground wrestling with a gaggle of toddlers. Is she connecting with her inner child or just avoiding talking to the grownups? Bonding will require a willingness to get down to her level.
10: TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL MOM
She’s by herself at the playground, but your attempts to chat her up fall flat. When you call her for a play date, you never hear back. She does drop-off in sunglasses and sashays through the halls without returning a single wave. Is she just shy or does she hate you? You may never know.
11: STAGE MOM
When the Stage Mom is not tooting her child’s horn, you may catch her coaching her child from the sidelines, whether or not there seems to be an actual show going on. To this mom and her little shining star, all the world’s a stage (or a reality show). If you’re within earshot, you’d better be applauding.
And the best kind of MOMMY of all: YOU. What comes naturally. What works in your house, with your kids, with your personalities. Not comparisons. Your kids don’t care about that. They just want YOU.
Who are you? Have you vascillated back and forth, role to role, as I have? Where are you most comfortable? And where are your *kids* the happiest? And you- where are you the happiest?
Just remember, it’s not about others, being Empowered is about being the best YOU there is!