Jun 02

How To Get Fired As a Room Mom-Or In This Case How I Wasn’t HIRED as Room Mom!

How To Get Fired As A Room Mom

Maria Luce: How To Get Fired As A Room Mom!

OH. MY. GAWD. You have GOT to be kidding me! It’s the end of the school year – we are all DONE! DONE! DONE! It’s a juxtaposition of emotions: tears because our ‘babies’ are getting older and it’s going too fast and then the TERRIFYING reality hits: HOLY-OH-BABY-JESUS the kids are HOME, like ALL DAY, for the summer.  It’s good and bad. And then there’s wine.

I want to share one of the most hysterical stories with you about this year – along with one of my MOST POPULAR posts called: “How To Get Fired As A Room Mom”. I can now add: How NOT to get Hired as a Room Mom! You have to check this video and post – you will relate, you will understand, and most of all, you will LAUGH!! This is a MUST SEE and a MUST READ. You will Crack Up! I laughed so hard at all the irony I think I peed my pants,

You will crack up! I laughed so much at all the irony I think I peed my pants.

Have a laugh and check this out! This is the original:


I can’t take it anymore.  THIS is NOT September people!  It’s June.  We are done-kids, teachers, parents. Done with school!

Full-on whooped.  No more bright and shiny like when the school year started. No more everything getting done on time – much less BEFORE it’s due.

Now it’s more like, “WHAT? What is due? When is that ceremony? How many more activities?  We had 3 weeks, and you’re telling me 5 minutes before it’s due? Seriously, you’re not even thinking about asking me to do another project, play, event, are you?” I may smack the next person that tells me there’s another event.  Since that’s typically frowned upon–I could always opt for another root canal.

I am so flipping checked out of school by now – it’s surprising my kids even get there.

And get this: I’m ROOM MOM.

Not just that. I’m LEAD ROOM MOM. Oh my gawd…who allowed that to happen??

But now, I think I got fired as Room Mom.
We’re going on 4 years now.

Of being the boys’ Room Mom. From Kindergarten through Fourth Grade, I’ve either been Ace’s, Lucky’s or Blaze’s ‘Superstar’ Room Rep.

But this year.  This year may have done me in. I think in the ranks of Room Mom History, I categorically will NOT be nominated for Room Mom of The Year.

I WAS great at first.  I LIVED at the school.

And I LOVED it. As do my boys.  And pretty soon I figure they’re gonna get into that stage where they don’t want their parents there – but now they do, so I’m gonna do so. Even if it sucks the life out of me.

Then year two, again. Signed my name right there on the dotted line. (Did it say sucker?)  Regardless, I was brilliant.  Could’ve gotten “Room Mom of The Year” two years in a row.

After my second year being Room Mom, I thankfully had a Co-Room Mom. (Oh YES, there IS a hierarchy in the realms of Room-Momhood.  Do NOT cross those boundaries or you shall be shunned to Room Mom Purgatory.)

That year wrapped up and she wrapped up this gift for me:

Stop Me Before I Volunteer Again

Stop Me Before I Volunteer Again

Third year guess I didn’t use her mug for coffee that morning: Check! All signals a go. “Of course I’ll do it!”

And this year? I started out all good this year – put my name on the list as I always do.  Especially when the critters look at me wide-eyed, sweetly, WANTING me there and asking in such a way that I’d be remanded to MotherHell if I didn’t absolutely say yes.

I volunteered, I was there, I communicated with the parents.

The Empowered Mom - Weekly Volunteer Calendar!

The Empowered Mom – Weekly Volunteer Calendar!

Offered weekly help to my AMAZING teacher with chirps of,  “What do you need? What can I help you with?”  Thankfully, she’s a brilliant, supremely organized teacher that loves my child and every child in her classroom – and truly, didn’t need much from me.  I volunteered for everything.

I was still good by about Valentine’s Day.

Valentines Day for How To Get Fired As A Room Mom Post June 2013

Even Easter.

But now, at this point in the school year – well maybe not so much.

By this time – I’m a bit exhausted.  Doing so much. Giving so much. The god-forsaken chain of RoomRep emails that takes at least 30 painstaking minutes to read through to find out…uh, nothing.

My communication with everyone had-at some point–officially gone fully off the rails.

And another Room Mom had, well, ‘taken the reigns’ so to speak of “Lead Room Mom.”  More like ripped them forcefully out of my hands so that things would get done!  (THANK YOU – you know who you are and am fo-evah grateful!)

And of course, in the interim, there’s this whole “RUNNING MY BUSINESS” I kinda have to attend to as well.  And guess what?  The Empowered Mom.com and Luce Media, LLC won’t actually run themselves. SHOCKING, I know.

So – back in the classroom. I’m missing things. Not communicating everything. I’m apologizing to the parents. I’m starting out every conversation with, “I’m sorry….”.

“Lucky” (Twin A) said to me, “Momma, how come you’re not in the classroom as much anymore.”  Jeez, kid, couldya stick the red-hot blazing poker straight into my heart?

So me getting fired as Room Mom?

Well, Pretty sure it wasn’t OFFICIALLY announced. Not Like on PR Newswire and it didn’t run as Breaking News on CNN or Fox News.  But I knew it.  The cold hard truth.  I’d gotten fired as Room Mom.  Parents were wondering if there even was a Room Mom. Room Mom Ghost.

I couldn’t possibly run businesses, a household, my brain AND be Room Mom and maintain sanity too, could I?(Ah,scratch that maintain sanity part – that’s always been questionable.)

I think I kinda maintained a smattering of capability. Talking to the other Room Moms, organizing parties.  FRANTICALLY getting to Dollar Store to make 23 goody bags – GRABBING my husband to help – no option for him – at the last minute because I was chasing my tail and COULD NOT – WOULD NOT – disappoint the kids.

So I hope not to really get fired, maybe uh, re-trained.  I could be on “Official Room Rep Probation” or even go into a Room Mom treatment center.  (Or some other type of treatment center?)  But certainly I can be on rehabilitation don’tcha think – before I have to walk the plank?

So I’m hoping to make it to the end of the year….  And yes, the end of the year party WILL be done, it WILL be amazing, the kids will NEVER know any better – and will have a BLAST.  Kicking off an amazing summer of whatever we want to do…which should last for all of about…hmmm, a week… then they’ll all be saying:

“I’m bored!”

 And next year? Yep, the boys have already asked me to be their Room Mom.  And I wouldn’t miss it for the world.  So if I haven’t gotten officially banned from Room Mom ranks, I will sign up again.  Maybe there’s a “Room Mom Rehab” I can attend this summer. Or at least get an ankle belt and monitor for next year.

FOUR MORE DAYS JAM-PACKED with activities….I am at once thrilled and weepy – for yet another year of my children’s sweet days are passing so quickly.  And I never want to look back and wished I would’ve been there more.  Nothing, NOTHING is more important than that.

And I will make every ceremony, every event, every second I can – I will grasp and hold in my heart forever. I wouldn’t miss one second of any of these precious moments.

 For my kids, yep, I’ll do anything.

 I remember one day having a conversation with our Pediatrician.  A brilliant, hard-charging woman I trust implicitly and highly respect.  This was just after I’d recently made the transition from ‘Career Woman’ to Stay-At-Home-Mom (and in the midst of identity crisis meltdown).  We’d been discussing how Type-A we both are, all that we want to accomplish, our bucket lists, the changing role(s) we have as women – especially when we become Moms.  She was encouraging me on the importance of my identity as simply, and most importantly, “Mommy.”

At that time, “Ace” (Critter #1) was now in Kindergarten.  And I very sarcastically said:

“Oh, but guess what? I AM a Room Mom.”  Thinking to myself:  Like big flipping deal – can I toss that out to CEOs and make the list on Forbes’ Top 25 Business Women with that title?

I furthered, ” I don’t remember that being a room mom was ever on my bucket list.”  She replied prophetically,  “Yes, but it is on his.”

 Amen.  Thank you for that, Doc!  It was all I ever needed to hear.


Related Posts:

How To Get Fired As A Room Mom

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